Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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