Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
can u get pink eye on your cock?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
