So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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