I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize