jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
