I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
