thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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