i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
