It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
