The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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