Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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