There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
