I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
