But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
