College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
