Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
