Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize