Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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