I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just cropdusted the office
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
