No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
