I'm going to jail i love you
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize