I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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