Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We need to rekindle our bromance
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
