i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
