Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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