so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
