i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
