Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
