I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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