i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
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