Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
