How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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