3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
