The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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