Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
