Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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