I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
The air taste purple.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
