i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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