I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
