Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
