also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
