Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
