you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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