what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
