So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
