He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
