Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
