I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
