Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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