Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
