belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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