Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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