he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
