I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
