i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize