Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
