so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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