just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
