i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
