I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
