I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
