guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Can Purell be used as lube?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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